Bananas...B.A.N.A.N.A.S.

Some people would call Gwen Stefani dumb. Some people might even think that she has no regard for the environment. They would be ERRONEOUS, erroneous on both counts.

Gwen Stefani's thumb is actually green. Her song that goes something like this, "That shit is bananas, b.a.n.a.n.a.s." reveals her overpowering brain waves and propensity for spending great deals of time becoming 'one with nature.' (Green thumb derived from a Muir-esque idea that everyone should plant seeds (pressing seeds down into the ground w/ one's thumb - for the unenlightened hippies out there)). This revelation came to my attention when I actually listened to the lyrics, which is a must-do. Gwen has some deep stuff...b.a.n.a.n.a.s.

You might not be aware of the growth template for Joe Banana, but it goes a little something like this: Papa Banana (the leader of the bunch) releases some chemicals (they cause the peel to turn brown) those chemicals then infiltrate the other banana's green sheathes and cause them to ripen. That shit (the maturation process) is bananas (crazy) because in the time it takes Papa Banana to be eaten, Joe Banana is already living in a nursing home. It only takes 30 minutes from Papa's enripenment before the entire clan has turned into compost, thus the lifeline of a bunch of bananas looks alot like the line graph from Enron's stock.

This image is parralleled beautifully by Stefani to the imposing pressure on the maturation of today's youth. You know, when in sevenish grade that one kid who sounds like Chewbacca becomes popular because his voice doesn't squeak. The same kid who looks like Chewbacca with hair sprouting all over his body points his finger and laughs at the 'youngsters' with no arm-pit hair. Well Gwen is calling out Chewbacca, telling him that his shit (deep voice and hairy grossness) is bananas (not meriting a vaulted position over 'normal' developing humans).

This idea of the world at large following a Chewbacca or Papa Banana is makes everyone turn disgusting and compost-ish in unison. It seems that, by age 10 children are expected to not only have enough hair to survive a brief stint with Jane Goodall in the Congo, but also communicate in deep grunts and moans that are inaudible to women, children, and dogs. Personally, I'm glad, that Gwen has taken such a strong stance against not only the insurmountable challenge of growing up 'normally' in a junior high school; but also against the oppression of bananas by those purists among us that keep them together in bunches so that they will all fall prey to a rapid mush-ination N'Sync.

Personally, I'm glad there's only one Chewbacca per grade, because like bananas, it doesn't take long for people to turn mushy and disgusting.