08 October 2006

Cutillion

Humans are weird. Some traditions that we have are quite funny if you think about it. I was at dinner tonight and two of these social mores occured and I actually thought about them for once, and they were just goofy.


- After dinner, everyone knew my grandfather was going to pay the tab but my dad pulled out his wallet as if to pay. He knew he wasn't going to but it would have been improper to act (not act like he was going to pay) on that knowledge. So society says, my dad had to whip out the wallet and get in a pseudo argument until the waiter brings the check and hands it to grandpa - which everyone knew was going to happen anyways.
- Similar, is how we are told to accept payment for menial service. The whole act, "No, you don't need to do that....well, if you insist." We all do it -- it's just funny. We know we are going to get paid, but we have to act like its superfluous - even though its not.

The things that drive us to action are weird. We're obviously influenced by society's standards - or else we wouldn't feel awkward simply accepting payment for watching the neighbor's dog. And society's standards are just flat out strange. It's like there's this golden rule regarding proper acceptance of a favor - argue with the person, "put your wallet away dad, i'm paying." After that we express how unnecessary their proposal is and why, "you're our guest, we're treating you tonight, c'mon i got it." then sigh "sigh" and thank them, "thanks dad."

27 September 2006

just something to mull on...

The idea of Tabula Rasa - "unscribed tablet"-"clean slate" - is the philosophical idea expressed by Aristotle and Thomas Aquinas, but then more notably by John Locke. Locke proposed the modern idea of Tabula Rasa that our mind (at birth) is a blank slate. Therefore there are no built in formulas or neural connections and that everything is developed and learned. The important theory (to me) is the connection to the spiritual idea of Tabula Rasa which follows that we are born with no sin.

It's an interesting theological quandary as there is no way for humans to deny sinfulness, however, we do acknowledge our baptism into Christ as a day of dedication in which we are cleansed by the holy water and made anew:

"The liturgy of baptism in (certain) traditions makes clear reference to baptism as not only a symbolic burial and resurrection, but an actual supernatural transformation, one that draws parallels to the experience of Noah and the passage of the Israelites through the Red Sea divided by Moses. Thus baptism is literally and symbolically not only cleansing, but also dying and rising again with Christ. Catholics believe that baptism is necessary for the cleansing of the taint of original sin, and for that reason infant baptism is a common practice."

If this is the case that baptism marks our burial and resurrection with Christ; does it then follow that our spiritual re-birth (our baptism) marks our real birth and therefore our birth into a state of our minds as a tablet unscribed upon by the chisel of sin?

Hmmm...

Okay, so I recieve a call between classes today, and my mom asks me, "What happened to Terrell Owens?" Upon hearing this, about a million different things welled up inside of me and I wanted to say, "well where do you want me to start?" I assumed (correctly) that this was a more pointed question - she then told me that news had broken that he had alledgedly attempted suicide. I got home and read the article, and I'm just mad about this whole thing.

I do not think Terrell Owens is the best role model on the planet, however, his treatment is absolutely horrendous. He does little dances in the end zone - so what? If he were a scantily clad girl then no one would have problems with him dancing in the end zones after scores. (That is a whole other topic). So what that he is attention starved? Does that make him a leper in America? If these people who are so content to peer in and criticize Owens' seeming arrogance and disillusionment would only peer in so keenly to themselves (and everyone else in the world) they'd find exactly the same problems. The difference - Owens is in the national spotlight.

So here's where the line has to be drawn. I believe that the combination of Vicodin and supplements doped him up, and that he didn't attempt suicide. However, from the past couple years, its obvious that the man has some emotional problems (as if we "normal people" don't) and we "normal people" think that its fine and right to push those buttons and try to draw those problems out of him. We are appalled at animal testing because it subjects animals to cruel treatment in the name of science. Well what we do to people like Owens' is far worse - we are subjecting him to cruel treatment (if you disagree with that - then think about how you felt when you saw the treatment Jim Carrey's character received in Truman Show). We are subjecting him to this treatment not in the name of science, or anything that even has remote beneficial qualities - we are putting this on him just to ostracize and demonize him. It makes us feel better to point and say, well I'm better than him.

That's weak.

22 September 2006

Today is Friday (or Rosh Hashanah)

It's true today is Rosh Hashanah. It says so on my calender. So as I was fervently rubbing the sleep out of my eyes this morn I was struck with a familiar sense of curiosity. Curiosity, has a feminine voice mind you, she said to me, "what is Rosh Hashanah - for that matter, what are all these holidays that I never celebrate?"

So since she has such a seductive voice - Curiosity that is. I decided to oblige and follow up. After class, I ran home in the drizzle and logged on to Wikipedia. I found out that Rosh Hashanah is simply New Years in the Jewish tradition. So I was a little bummed that it was so bland - oh but then I found the "fun nugget" I'd been looking for:

"In fact, Judaism has four 'new years' which mark various legal 'years'."

Okay, so basically whats going on here is the Jewish calender is absolutely crazy - well crazy to me, an average Joe who abides by the simple 12 month, 365 day variety. There are four new years, as I mentioned. Before we move to that however, the Jewish calender is somewhat different than the typical American one. It includes 12 months of 30 days each. (The previous statement isn't completely true because some months contain 29.75 days, and other fractional differences). But in the long run the year rounds out to a full 360 days. This is significant because their calendar is envisioned as a circle and how many degrees are in a circle? You got it - 360. 360 degrees in a circle, 360 days in the rotunda-ish calendar of the Jews.

The first month on this circular calendar is Nisan, the word Nisan itself is Babylonian and is translated as "spring." It is rooted in the Sumarian "nisag" which literally means "first fruits." Nisan is a spring month consisting of 30 days and usually falls in the March-April range. It is the first month of the calendar because, "The LORD told Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, 'this month shall be for you the beginning of months. It shall be the first month of the year for you...' " (Exodus 12:1-2)

So, Moses and Aaron listened and now Nisan is the first month on the ecclesiastical calendar (month seven on the civic calendar) - and therefore 1 Nisan = New Year's Day.

The second New Year celebration is the first day of Tishrei, literally - "beginning" derived from the Akkadian surru - "to begin." Rosh Hashanah - literally, "head of the year" (which is today - lest you forget) is the civic New Year. That being said, there are huge ecclesiastical calendar implications on this "civic" holiday. Why? Well, this celebration is derived from Leviticus 23:24, "And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 'Speak to the people of Israel,' saying, 'In the seventh month, you shall observe a day of solemn rest, a memorial proclaimed with blast of trumpets, a holy convocation' " - the line, "with blast of trumpets" is literally translated as, "The Day of the Blowing of the Shofar."

In tradition, during the month of Elul (literally "to search") which is right before Tishrei, the Shofar (a musical instrument made from a ram's horn) is blown every morning, 'to awaken the listener from his/her slumber and alert them of the coming judgement.' Rabbinic literature (and even the liturgy) refers to Rosh Hashanah as the day of judgement. Therefore this month of Elul is similar in many respects to Lent (for Christians). The 'day of judgement,' in Christianity is Holy Saturday when Jesus rest in the tomb and in spirit performed the 'harrowing of hell' by descending to the depths and breaking free the bondage of those held captive by sin. The next day, Easter, marks the grace and mercy shown by God as Jesus ascended to Heaven. In Jewish tradition, however Rosh Hashanah is pictorialized as "God sitting upon a throne, while books containing the deeds of all humanity are open for review, and each person passing in front of Him for evaluation of his or her deeds." Then for the next ten days Jewish tradition observes the Yamim Noraim ("Days of Awe") known as Assaret Yemei Teshuva ("Ten Days of Repentance"). The Yamim Noraim culminates on 10 Tishrei with the celebration of Yom Kippur - Yom Hakkipurim - "The Day of Atonements." For obvious reasons this is the holiest day of the year and is marked by a 25 hour fast and very intensive prayer throughout the day.

This celebration is markedly different from the fiest that takes place on 1 Nisan. The latter is a celebration of the idea of a year, whereas the former celebrates the turning of a page in the lives of the Jews. It is a celebration of all the greatness of the past year; and alternatively a celebration of the forgiveness of sin from the previous year. The Yamim Noraim obviously is a huge, huge part of the Jewish year. The other New Year celebrations, on the other hand are not. The next New Year - Elul, the twelfth month of the ecclesiastical calendar is held as the New Year for animals.

Tu Bi'Shevat, or the fifteenth day of Shevat is marked as the New Year for trees. (Tu) is the American translation for some squiggly lines that in Hebrew mean 15, and (Shevat) is the eleventh month of the Jewish calendar. The day is known as Rosh Hashanah La'llanot ("Head of Year of the Trees.")


- These holidays do not begin until sun down - if you look at your calendar it should say, "Rosh Hashanah begins at sundown" that is because the day changes at sundown, not at the American usual of midnight.

So tonight, when the sun goes down and the chill of fall rests in the air, you may want to dig into a meal of apples and honey to symbolize a 'sweet new year,' and some challah to symbolize the wheel of life (round calendar) that just took one more spin. As you do, hear this, "ketiva ve-chatima tovah (may you be written and sealed for a good year)."

21 September 2006

interesting

While I was writing that title, I wanted to spell it "intresting" because thats how we pronounce it. Anyways...

Speaking of pronunciation, I'm can't stand it when people mispronounce easy words...libarry? What?! Well I heard another one the other day. I forget what it is, but my hairs stood on end.

I see that today is September 21, and my last post entitled, "Race Relations" was written on August 22. A full month - I just needed a little breather.

I am taking a class called Race & Ethnicity in American Literature. Its pretty fun, but at the same time, pretty demoralizing. I debate every day whether to walk out the door and go on with life, or to exit the room by jumping out of the fourth floor window of Perkins. That's not actually true, but the angst is in that general vicinity.

Long story - short, that is why this whole race deal has been so grossly entrenched on my mind. At first, I feel this sense of dread - you know, the "oh crap I'm walking into a room, where I am about to get absolutely roasted by a bunch of people who are mad at me" feeling -- wait, maybe thats not a normal thing after all. However, after I realize that those feelings are just me being an idiot, I actually open my ears (if thats possible) and hear the conversation in the room and it is unbelievable.

All I can say to expound on the unbelievabilility (wc?) is that situations (race being one of them) where there is a cataclysmic amount of brokenness is where redemption is the most real. We claim to be so easily lured into idolatry because of all we have in America. However, in a place like this class - a place where real issues aren't matador-ed, but where we actually grab the bull by the horns and deal - thats where we can truly see past all of these objects and idols that we have grown to worship. It's really amazing.

I wrote a paper the other day for this class, it's a response paper to "Heart of Whiteness" by Robert Jensen. Well here's an excerpt about the necessity of standing in the path of the bull rather than waving the red flag.

"The third emotion Jensen deals with is fear. Fear is a much broader topic than anger or guilt; which are both very pointed. With guilt and anger there is always a beginning point – there is always a reason for guilt and a point of anger. Fear can often be a feeling without any rational reason. The problem, herein, is that fear presents itself in so many different fashions and is incredibly hard to overcome. Jensen makes a few points to this matter. The most explicit example is one where he makes the proclamation that black people gaining more power is the white man’s worst fear, “This is perhaps the deepest fear that lives in the heart of whiteness…Are non-white people capable of doing to us the barbaric things we have done them?” (54). He also testifies that in some instances when meeting with a person of different ethnicity he feels scared. “Why am I feeling afraid of you? I know I have no reason to be afraid, but I am,” he feels this sense of fear – for some unknown reason (57). The fact that there is no definitive root of this fear reveals the true depth in which it lies. Fear goes much deeper beneath the surface than we understand. Phobias are a perfect example – people are afraid of fairly normal things. These can’t be simply explained, yet there are ways to overcome them.

The fear of heights is a very common phobia which can be beaten. The only way to overcome this fear is to face heights. That person must stand on ledges and deal with those feelings there, where they can truly engage them, rather than sitting on solid earth and worrying about the fear they might face. Similarly, this ‘phobia’ that seems to plague white people can only be overcome by facing them. Facing them does not mean simply acknowledging that these feelings: feelings of anger, guilt and fear exist, but really getting down to the root by communicating openly with the people who strike those emotions. Open dialogue is something that has been discussed as a path to redemption. In my brief time in this class I have seen some redemption take place. Many feelings of guilt and fear have dissipated as I have intentionally sought to spend time with people who are not white. Communication is a grassroots movement. But with a problem like white supremacy which rears its ugly head in the personal levels of relationships – the grassroots is the place to start. Nothing we do will ever change America’s racial complex from the top (government) down. These feelings, these emotions are the ‘real’ white supremacy, the real lingering of racism. As long as I can still acknowledge to housing feelings of anger, guilt and fear; so too can I assume that our politicians and people of power harbor those same feelings. Until that changes there will be no redemption. Until we are able to look at a black friend without any anguish, there will never be real relational equality. Furthermore, until we are able to (as a society) look into the eyes of a black man or woman and feel no semblance of any of the aforementioned feelings we can not draw near to a society that is balanced between the ethnic groups."

- Communication (the means) toward the end of the big three.
Andy Blasius
9/8/06

I've got another story coming about another class, but thats for another day and another time. Til, then fare thee well my faithful few.

xoxo,
AB

22 August 2006

Race Relations

Alright, so here's something that's been whisking around in the cauldron upstairs: race relations. Sure I'm taking a lit. course in it this semester, but also the church I attend deals with it quite a bit; and I assume that if I am to be an "enlightened" individual I must wrestle with her at some point. So here goes.

There is always a series of events that lead to a writing topic, and I'll do a little background to connect the dots here. You know, 1+1=2 type stuff.

So, one, I hear a story in a sermon the other day about a child at Austin-East High Schools Graduation two years ago. He had recently gotten into a scuffle with law enforcement and well, he fought the law and he won. Obviously he was quickly a cult hero, and when he walked across the stage the entire gym erupted in applause. Why? Why would you cheer a boy for beating the crap out of a cop? I have no idea.

+

And, one, I watched The Aviator last night and I absolutely hated it - worst movie I've ever watched. I suppose if Howard Hughes is interesting to you there is some merit in watching it, but Howard Hughes absolutely drove me crazy. If Leonardo di Caprio did his job right, then I would absolutely loathe Mr. Hughes. Anyway, one thing that I noticed (and was made crystal clear in the movie) was Hughes' irrational fear of not only germs, but also of being spyed upon. This fear, is one that is well documented, as I believe Hitler also was crazy and killed off his officers on flimsy suspicion of treason. This fear that one is being watched seems to confirm itself by the natural instinct to pay closer attention to details than one would normally. If someone glanced at Hughes he believe they were spying, etc.

=

My conclusion, two, is (and I am not trying to downplay the presence of racism in the world - because it does exist) that when people of a minority are super sensitized to a certain stigma, when they claim victimization from a stereotype foe, they make that foe more real. Perhaps, the aforementioned cop was cracking down on the high schooler because of immoral, racial reasons. But, perhaps he had a legit reason to indict the kid. It doesn't matter, because when a human believes that they are the victim of a social sin - they becomes crazed to the point of irrationality toward a given stimulus - say being arrested.

No doubt does racism exist and need to be slowed to a stop, no doubt. However, what we are doing now - black leaders reinforcing black people to stand up against white people is nothing more than instigating reverse racism and inciting more hatred between the two predominant races. The only way things will ever change is when white people and black people are encouraged by society, by our leaders, and by one another to stand up with one another, to create communities with one another, to create Shalom between the two groups instead of pointing out all of the inconsistencies and deficiencies.

14 August 2006

fantasy sports.

It's no lie that I enjoy a little fantasy baseball. This is the first year I have participated in this pathologicalically depressing endeavor. However, I have enjoyed the 3 a.m. lineup switches, the hurrying to the computer to pick up Mark DeRosa because he just hit a homer and all the other little novelties of fantasy sports addiction. All of this is irrelevant to the issue at hand, but is necessary for a little bg (background).

I play in a league on Yahoo Sports. The interface is quite user friendly and all that other stuff that makes it fun for a computer dumb-dumb like myself. However, there is one point that absolutely drives me nutty.

Every time one of my players is in the news there is this little post it note that shows up next to their name. When you click on it, it will show you the news clipping of that player. This has been very handy as the balance of my team enjoys the trainer's table more than the field. That is beyond the point - the thing that drives me crazy is when it gives advice.

Sometimes the "news" will be presented like this:

Aug 14 Glaus injured his knee swinging and missing a pitch.

Advice Glaus is batting .264 with 31 Home Runs and 86 RBI's.

The first problem I have with this is the actual news. One, my player (as usual) is injured. Second, he injured himself in the process of striking out. That is fantastic. The second problem I have is the advice. I would love advice that says something like this, "Glaus will be out for a long time, you should drop him and pick up Edwin Encarnacion off of the waiver wire." That would be terrific - that would be really helpful. However, no, Yahoo can't do that for me, but what advice they can give me is how productive that player who is now injured has been all year. Thank you Yahoo for slicing open the crux of my knee and seasoning the open wound with salt.

28 July 2006

but I won't do that.

I have two things for you this evening. The first is of no importance and the second is of similar status.

- Today I went to a pawn shop for the first time. When I walked in I was reminded of this common thread of thought that I entertain about background music. I was reminded because a muffled, tinny tune was seeping from the speakers in the pawn shop, and it just created an absolute perfect "chi"(sorry I had to) for the pawn shop. The song? "I would do anything for love" by Meatloaf.

- Also I was thinking a bit more about this idea I have for a screen play. It got me thinking about some advice I recieved from someone who is much more theatrical than I. The advice was, "no plot is original, it's only the characters that can be original."

I think that is beautiful, I'll mold it a little, and say in life, "no idea is orignial, but it's our character that is."

22 July 2006

New Law

You know, looking back at my posts from the past I am realizing one thing - and one thing only. I am incredibly long winded; either that, or I try to jam every sentence to the brim with thought. In order to simplify all of that, I'm enforcing a new law on the Super Bowl Shuffle blog. That law states that: I will no longer write anything that is over three paragraphs in length.

If that is disappointing I'm sorry, however my hunch is that most of you will wipe your brow and exclaim, "phew, it's about time."

15 July 2006

utopia?

Movies, writers -- society at large, has this philosophy -- this philosophy that lies in the inevitable human let down. The betrayal by humanity, some sort of pseudo-Deity feeling of great remorse for the ultimate lowering of one's standards for those who live with and around. So obviously, as social pressures do, this philosophy weighs down on me and gives me this sort of ultimatum that goes like this, "either accept the faultiness of humans now: accept that no human will ever treat you right; or you will be broken cruelly and unexpectedly in the future." Obviously, there is an innate sense of right and wrong -- and this sense is something that humans share -- and thusly, I suppose I am born with a sort of utopian idea that the things I deem right or wrong are ultimately right or wrong for everyone. Somehow.

So, maybe in my youth, or in my naievety I have yet to subscribe to the inevitable fatal human let down. Sure, sure I know that we are all sinners. However, as a sinner, I'm unable (as of now) to fully commit to an idea that says everyone will fail me -- I suppose I still believe that there are (and will be) people in my life who do nothing but good.

Anyhow, I was driving around town this morning after a good jog thinking about this and the fact that I was really happy that I didn't wear the Carhartt pants I was thinking about wearing. Instead I opted for shorts which turned out to be a much better idea in the 90 degree heat.

For obvious reasons the former occupied my thoughts for far longer than the latter and I began to think and stew on it for quite a while.

This was abruptly met by a quite hornery bank teller. The destination of my aforementioned driving was to cash a check at the bank. As I walked up I noted that the calendar still marked the 14th which was yesterday and the clock above the calendar read 9:14 - surely with two workers mulling around in the back the bank was open for business. Much to my chagrin they were not. Not only was the bank not open, but when I was caught off guard by such news and uttered a brainless, "reeeally?" I recieved a quite terse and sarcastic, "really." (i feel like if we announced punctuation points verbally she would have said, "really period" emphatically). Needless to say, I looked at my shoelaces and sauntered off like a scolded dog.

Luckily, this particular bank branch is located inside a Kroger - which is in a shopping center with a Starbucks. I ventured over to the Starbucks to sit in the sun, sip a coffee, and console myself for my rude treatment. As I sat there, these thoughts of utopia and people began to migrate more into the field of occupations - as this has been something very bothersome to me lately. It was a saturday and as I sat in Starbucks doing a little people watching I noticed countless men and women sitting in there with wedding bands on and just chattering away on their cell phones or clicking away on laptops. I saw three or four business meetings with very professional looking men who had just come from Brooks Brothers. I found all of this quite depressing. It's Saturday. Don't married people have spouses sitting at home? Don't some of them have children to play with?

All of this culminated with this idea of why are people so serious about life? I have no idea why people think that everything is so important. Why did that lady deem that those extra fifteen minutes were so important that some unsuspecting customer should recieve a trite remark? Why did these men think that money or power or their company or whatever was so important that they were neglecting far more important things - like teaching junior how to throw? This is one thing that I absolutely do not want to get caught up in. Then, right as I was about to leave, I saw a beautiful vintage Mercedes convertable pull in to the parking lot. A man, and I presume his wife, emerged and began to walk into Starbucks. When they were a few feet away from me I noticed that the man wasn't wearing any shoes.

This, to me, was brilliant. He got his paper and his coffee and was perfectly content sitting in the sun with his wife, reading the paper, drinking his coffee all the while being barefoot in a very public place - that is life. As I glanced to the right one table there were two guys stewing over the fact that his frappucino took "like 10 minutes" and commenting that "that lesbian barista is a sack of shit!" Is it really necessary to get so riled up over a drink taking a few minutes more than usual. I then glanced back and there was such a huge contrast between the seemingly carefree man reading his paper and the two 30 somethings cussing and carrying on about the lousy barista.

Maybe, this idea that people are incomplete is true. However, I'm beginning to think that the problem isn't so much in the people that do let you down. It's our failure to be inspired by people that don't. It's our failure to find great joy in simply seeing an old guy trouncing around barefoot in Starbucks because he doesn't care. It's the simple fact that we are too busy whining about the barista, or our bottom line, or our boss, or even those friends that do let us down -- that we completely miss those who don't. We completely miss our families, our good friends, and those random encounters that help us to recalibrate ourselves and see what is truly important.

12 July 2006

youth vs. experience

As expected the AL beat the NL. (yawn) -- actually this year was a little more intriguing. The NL takes a one run lead into the ninth. Trevor Hoffman (who is second in all time saves) comes into the game to seal the deal. Right. There are three points that any intelligent person could have noted to predict what was about to happen.

One, the NL never beats the AL - no matter what. This is like the University of Tennessee beating Steve Spurrier. It just doesn't happen.

Two, the AL hitters were not going to be held to one run. I know the NL pitchers threw like champions tonight, but regression toward the mean is a truth as real as gravity. If a batter starts off 2 for 3 the chances of him getting a hit in his fourth at bat aren't so hot. Conversely if a whole lineup is cold for a long stretch of time, it is inevitable (usually) that there will be a stretch of heat.

Three, lately Trevor Hoffman has been getting about as many saves as those raging televangelists who condemn people to hell, if they don't wrap a 200 lb boa constrictor around their neck. Sure he's got 420 for his career but he blows more saves that Todd Coffey. It's horrendous, if you want stats then just bring back Dennis Eckersley to toss that ninth inning.

::

What we've learned by watching 83 games:
1) The Cubs will never win the World Series. Who cares if they have Dusty Baker, Derek Lee, 'the next Lima' Zambrano*, healthy Mark Prior and Kerry Wood. Who cares if Glenallen Hill, Shawon Dunston, Ryne Sandberg, and all their other greats come back. Who cares if Marmol-aid, 'The other' Cedeno**, Matt Murton and all their little kiddos come through. Who cares. The Cubs won't win the series until Henry Rowengartner and Chet Stedman decide to ham up and lead the pitching staff. Right now that staff is so weak that Garth Brooks could make the team.
*'the next Lima' Zambrano refers to Carlos Zambrano and his eerily similar style to one, Mr. Jose Lima.
** 'the other' Cedeno refers to Ronnie, as opposed to Roger. If you come in second in the Cedeno lines to a one hit wonder base stealer, you know you're not on good footing. Sorry Ronny.
2) The White Sox should be banned from sports. My new theory is that the American sports (NBA, MLB, and NFL) should get together and hire Vince McMahon. His job would be to fashion a new sports league that no one will ever watch. Then the leagues can toss all the teams that don't belong (Raiders, Pistons, White Sox, Steelers, Knickerbockers, Globetrotters, Yankees) into Vince's care and watch them rot.
3) The stretch run is going to be absolutely insane. The AL will obviously win. However which AL team? The scary as Freddy in Halloween Angels who always underachieve? The foursome (Mauer, Morneau, Liriano, Santana) in MN? The terrorists (White Sox)? The nursing home (Yanks), the "I see dead people" Tigers? or maybe, jus maybe the good ol' boys in Boston.

10 July 2006

sports fights.

Fighting in sports is one thing that I am for. Now, I did not say that I mean fighting like they do in hockey or boxing -- where the point of the sport is to fight -- I mean the spontaneous mound charging, shove in pit row or even better fan vs. NBA superstar fight. However classless and degrading for the certain player they definitely spice up a sporting event.

Now the addendum about boxing and hockey: both are fine, but the fight I'm talking about is the one that is completely unexpected. Fighting in a boxing match is not all together unexpected and fighting is hockey players second favorite things to do behind hooking up with Russian supermodels.

In lieu of Zizou's recent actions I have composed a top five sports fights list.

1. Obviously Zidane's headbutt is on here. Here is one question, if you could bury your dome in some dude's chest and send him crumpling to the ground like a rag doll wouldn't you? If you answered no, then either you are female or have no competitive bone in your body. Also, I would propose a new idea that soccer could adopt - instant replay. No, this would not serve to detect goals or offsides or any other rubbish. IR would be to determine if a player took a dive. If so, then out comes Zidane, in true Terry Tate Offensive Linebacker Style, and plants a vicous headbutt in the offender's chest. I'll guarantee flops are completely gone after one perpetrator ends up with two collapsed lungs.

Sure Zidane ended on a sour note to most folks -- but he did the best thing he could have ever done for his career. Now he goes on to be the star of a hit action TV show, a la Chuck Norris.

2. The Classic. A sprightly Robin Ventura gets beaned by the big Texan - Nolan Ryan. Note number one to Ventura: you don't get in a fight with an ole boy from Texas. Note number two: even if you win, the league hates you. Ventrua heeded neither notes and charged Ryan with a full head of steam. At this point, whenever you see flashbacks it pans over to Nolan and you can see him thinking:

N.R.: haha, oh this kids in for it
conscience: he's a youngster just protect yourself but don't embarass him.
N.R.: are you kidding, look at this little shit
conscience: well....you're right, he plays for the White Sox, beat the crap out of him.

At that point Ventura gets to the mound, Ryan proceeds to grab Ventura's head and tucks it under one arm and throw his 43 year old fist in Ventura's head numerous times. Oh, and the best part is that Ventura got suspended and Ryan did not.

3. This has to go to the Pistons-Pacers melee. No, not because Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson went into the stands. Not because there was a year suspension for Artest. Simply for the full on sprint into a slide and punch that Jermaine O'Neal threw at that fat guy from The Mighty Ducks. If you don't know what I'm talking about click here.

4. Sox-Yanks. Has there been another rivalry that spawned more hilarous fights. First, there is Pedro rolling Don Zimmer like a bowling ball. Then there is Jason Varitek clocking A-Rod and then that stupid Yankee pitcher (who doesn't even have a name) going into the Boston stands to fight a guy and getting absolutely demolished by like 20 Sox fans.

5. Delmon Young's bat tossing. There has never been a more unexpected of funny video than that of Delmon Young striking out, getting tossed for lingering in the box too long, calmly walking away and then from out of the picture his bat comes flying back into the picture and clocks the umpire in the shoulder - priceless.

There are obviously more fights. Kyle Farnsworth Troy Polamalu-ing some batter that tried to charge him, Michael Barrett-A.J. Pierzynski, etc. Those five are the real deal, and the great thing about a sports fight is the amount of publicity the event gets. Zidane's headbutt has to go number one, because that move overshadowed Italy winning the biggest sporting event in the World. Not many people can claim that. Not many actions could have caused that much talk - but a vicous headbutt to the chest was just what the doctor ordered.

06 July 2006

identity crisis.

I am having a bit of an identity crisis. I'm not sure if its a mid life crisis type thing or if its just the usual asking of the question "why." I have no idea.

However, over the past few weeks I've really felt insecure with this question: "What is this blog about?"

Why is this a big deal...well there are a few possible explanations. One, Mrs. Anna Marie Hughes drilled this idea of a thesis statement into my head so fervently that the 'learning' could have been more aptly considered 'branding.' This idea of having a thesis statement is so branded to me that I am insecure when I do anything without a detailed description of why I'm doing it.

The second reason is that perhaps I am just insecure by the fact that no one will read something that is about nothing. If I want to read about baseball, I go to mlb.com. On the other hand, if I want to read the news I go to drudgereport.com. No one in their right mind would go to my blog (whose only fundamental trait is randomness) with any purpose other than to waste time.

Now this wasting time idea is quite scary - as this throws my writing into the same category as these online games that children play with. I'm not sure that I'm okay with that.

Anyhow, I believe the first reason - the 'must-have-thesis' mentality is at blame for much of this identity crisis. I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I get on here and publish. I don't know why I've written 70 some odd things (and yes, things is the only way to describe them) over the past four or five months. I don't know why....(trail off)

I suppose this gets me back to the point at the beginning. The question why -- it is ruthless.

The question why is my booby trap. Everytime I begin taking off through the woods on this wild goose chase that I call writing, I am tripped by this question of why. Why am I pursuing this? To be quite honest with you, the answer is that I have no idea. And the scary part is that that is the answer for most of my why's. I don't really know much about why I do anything.

That's scary and is why I have such a hard time with this. It seems that people who are simpler in their thought (simpler is not a slight) are much better at sticking to the how questions. How do I get (X)?

It's those of us who are so delusioned to believe we can think down the world by our constant asking of the question why who are leashed to the tree and are too busy running around in circles to see that our world is getting smaller. Why is a pointless question when talking of love. It simply cannot be understood no matter how much time we waste mulling over it. Neither can forgiveness or joy. These are all things that don't fly in the why zone (terrible I know). They can't be understood or reasoned down. Therefore is it, that those of us who are so crised (past personal tense of crisis) about our identity - are so, because we are unable to accept the way things are? The way we are, the way others are, and the way this blog has no backbone?

03 July 2006

The Midsummer Classic?

Okay, so I generally avoid writing critically about baseball because I love it so dearly.

However, the All Star game is absolutely terrible.

One, the game is in Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh, really?

The random selection of host city is horrible - the game should be played in the stadium of the defending World Series Champs - yes that means Southside. Reward the reigning champs.

Two, the voting is so screwed up that it rivals the cycling doping scandal for horrible sports news.

Fans have to vote - thats the point of the All Star game. However, if fans are going to vote (which they are) then the game cannot be so instrumental. 20 of the past 25 World Series winners have had homefield advantage.

...and when fans vote, the winners get by on their reputation (their year in year out performance). If the game is about the stars of the game then yes, this if fine. However, if the game is a year-to-year occasion rewarding the best players for the first half of the season, then it needs to be based on that years performance. In which case people like Freddy Sanchez should be starting.

Three, the AL hasn't lost since 1995.

C'mon is this even suspenseful anymore. I'm a baseball fan, I'd love to see the NL win, but how likely is that?

Four, where is the participation?

I used to love the All Star festivities because I got to see Ken Griffey (in his prime) vs. Mark McGwire and all the big bashers compete in the home run derby. Now we're lucky if Rick Ankiel and Danny Almonte participate.

Five, the game is upstaged.

The Futures Game and Old Timers Softball game are always more intriguing. Why, well the players get to play. There isn't any of this 2 innings bull crap that the managers pull in the "real" All Star game. However, in the futures game you get pitchers like Francisco Liriano and Justin Verlander matched up. Both of whom, this year are deserving starters for the AL. Too bad Johan Santana has a choke hold on the SP position for the AL.

And then the Old Timers game is just fun. You can see people enjoying themselves, playing the game. Isn't that what we are supposed to see?

Ultimately, the All Star game should just include the 9 starters 2 bench players and 3 or 4 relievers. The bench players should know they probably won't get to play and the relievers will only pitch if needed. Then, remove the homefield advantage reward and let the players play. That way the All Stars will actually get to play instead of making cameos. It will also, make the voting much less important because there is far less weight hinging on the outcome of the game.

Will it happen? No, but it should.

theology of brokenness

If we putter along with no sense of our lives as important then there is no way we can fully adhere to the 'breath of God' philosophy of creation. If we see our lives as a menial series of events that simply connect birth and death then we will inevitably, ultimately, fall prey to the idea of our existance - and therefore existance in general - as a massive accident. Then, we, if at our core believe life to be accidental then we will never be able to break free into a rich and possessed life full of purpose: of faith, hope and love - the manna of life everlasting.

In living a life of accident, we are relegated to a life of which all blessings are accidents (or are created by our 'virtue'). Then, slowly we will remove ourselves from the living, breathing people of the Kingdom and cast ourselves into a realm of unbelief and accidental creation. This accidental life commandeers our belief system, and we eventually go from believing in life as accidental to believing ourselves as accidents. For what we believe is the heart of who we are.

Ghandi said, "you must be the change you wish to see in the world." This idea of 'being' a belief is the core of who we are. If we believe the world is an accident, then so too do we believe that we are an accident. Conversely, if we believe that the world is a place of divine providence, then so too do we believe that we have a higher purpose. Then, and only then, can we subscribe to the 'breath of God' philosophy and live important, whole lives.

01 July 2006

toothpicks.

Every man, needs to embrace a good toothpick. Now, I wasn't aware of the difference between a toothpick and a "good" toothpick until just recently.

There is a restaurant called Quaker Steak & Lube. Now, upon first impression, I'll admit the whole Quaker State and Lube play off doesn't make me salivate. It sounds like some guy named Johnny Ray slathers up some fried catfish and chicken in motor oil and serves it with a handle of cheap whiskey - and maybe, just maybe your car will get a 10 point inspection in the parking lot.

That, however is not what Quaker Steak & Lube is. It's just good chicken wings (have to sign a waiver they're so hot chicken wings).

Anyway, the real impressive thing about QS&L is their toothpicks. You can take this little folder type thing that contains 10 toothpicks and they are hard as stone. You know how a toothpick is great for about 10 minutes but then you start chewing on the end or you actually pick something out of your teeth, or saliva simply weakens the wood so much that it starts to fall apart. Yeah, I hate that. Well these don't. I have been chewing on this one all morning and it is still just as delicious as it was when I first removed it from its little folder.

All I know is that a good toothpick is a good thing. It's a great occupant of time, a tool for keeping the teeth clean and a manly alternative to gum and/or cigarettes. All I'll say is that you should just hope that at some point a good toothpick will come along and you'll get stuck.

26 June 2006

ahem.

Today is June 26.

One June 24, David Ortiz hit a walk off home run that inspired me to write - asking the question, "Is David Ortiz the greatest clutch hitter of all time?" to which I concluded yes.

Well today, on June 26, Ortiz decided to cement that idea with another game winning hit. It's the bottom of the twelfth and there are two outs, Mark Loretta is up. This is not a slight against Loretta, but you have got to give your firstborn to science before you give Loretta a free trip down to first. Poor Clay Condrey (evidently) wasn't aware of the heinously large man standing on deck and walked Loretta. This brough Papi to the plate. Here's the scenario - and the facts.

- if there is a runner in scoring position and Papi is at the plate, that runner will score.
- if the game is on the line, Papi will come through.

So Condrey is faced with a scenario in which there is a runner in scoring position and the game is on the line. Two will's exist to make even Tom Cruise cringe with doubt. Well those will's exist for a reason, and as expected Condrey payed dearly. Ortiz laced a single into center and Youkilis scored from second to end the game and end the series with a Boston sweep.

The moral of the story is: David Ortiz is as clutch as Larry's steal, Horry's threes, Squintz' kiss, the '84-'85 Villanova Wildcats, the Flutie-Phalen connection, every Viniateri field goal, Laettner's shot, Joe Carter, Kirk Gibson, Michael, Dwyane, and Henry Rowengartner's floater all rolled into one.

of course i'm westley (the dread pirate roberts)

Westley / The Dread Pirate Roberts

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by inigo montoya

25 June 2006

i like it when you call me big papi.

What a played out title. Oh well, Notorious R.I.P.

So, has there ever been a hitter who was better in the clutch that the great David Ortiz. (I wanted to come up with some nickname for him, you know like Sultan of Swat, Colossus of Clout - and then I realized the Sandlot wasted all of those nicknames on the Pinstriping prostitute - Babe Ruth.) The Sox were opposed in Fenway by the Phil...uhh...I mean the Ryan Howards. And, to augment the Philadelphian problem, their star pitcher and the guy who pitched last night decided to assault his wife and spend some time in the slammer to warm up for his outing.

A few notes for Mr. Brett Myers:

1) You look like a child molester. Let's not perpetuate the image by walloping your wife in public in Boston.

2) The best way to warm up for facing the best offensive team in the bigs is not to spend a few days breaking bread with guys named "Rock" and "Kamikaze." (and by breaking bread, you know what I mean)

*I realize the South Side (Chicago) Steroids are putting up pretty haughty O-stats, but we don't recognize them as a team. The other Sox winning the World Series simply falls into the same category as having no champion in the strike shortened season of 1994.

Now, back to last night. Brett Myers pitched decently given the circumstances. He went 5 innings and gave up 3 runs. However Schilling gave up 3 also and that led to extras. Then in the bottom of the tenth, "The Purveyor of Power" strode up to the plate. He recieved a few pitches from Flash Gordon and then decided to deposit one in the centerfield bleachers.

My real qualm with writing this piece is "why?" Why should I write about something that is as regular an occurence as Aaron Carter showing up on Vh1's "Most Awesomely Bad Songs" list? I debate this and then I think about the other side of the coin. The Peyton Manning, the Karl Malone/John Stockton, the "Can't win the big one" plague. In that light David Ortiz becomes surreal and superhuman - which is a very real possibility. And frankly, I just want to write about the superhuman happenings in the world before the GhostBusters intervene.

Just to prove the outerworldly gift "The Polypheme of Pith" has; he has belted eight walk offs since joining the Red Sox in 2003. Eight! and that is not including all of the walk off basehits he's gotten i.e. the single that won the 14 inning, game 5 of the 2004 ALCS. Trot Nixon, who has been playing since the Sox were the Boston Pilgrims had this to say about Papi, "It's unique, just what he's done in his time here. The big clutch hits he's had here. It doesn't surprise me anymore." I suppose you could compare this to Robert Horry - no wait you can't. Robert Horry is a clutch shooter from three when the game is on the line. However what Ortiz does, well he doesn't hit a jumper. He's hitting triple teamed fadeaways from half court as time expires. Now when Dwyane Wade starts doing that, we'll have a comparison.

So what does this mean for the Sox? Well, the most important aspect of Ortiz's late inning ability is that the Sox always have a great opportunity to win the close, or tied games; especially this year with the addition of Jonathan Papelbon, who has assumed the "best closer in the game" title from Mariano Rivera. Both the best late inning pitcher and late inning hitter are on the same team. Perhaps, the Red Sox are not the best 1-6 inning team, but if they keep it close, they have the advantage in the 7-? innings over any team in baseball. If Keith Foulke comes back from injury and couples with developing star Craig Hansen and Mike Timlin to set up Jonathan "the grim reaper" Papelbon -- no one will score on the bullpen. That will give the Sox time enough to bat around until Papi strides to the dish and routinely disposes of the oppositions pitch amongst the Fenway faithful.

So, as for The Power of Papi, and his penchant for walk off home runs. He will go down into the record books as the most clutch hitter in baseball history. Eight walk off's in 2.5 seasons is unheard of, oh and by the way, he's only 30 - and that is a 30 with no history of injuries.

22 June 2006

Albert Epstein?

To redeem myself after writing a full article on soccer, I'll have to sanitize myself by writing an article on baseball. While I'm here, I'll say that UNC is the most dominant NCAA tournament baseball team I have ever seen. This season they have Andrew Miller (the best pitcher in college baseball) and then they have Robert Woodward who fired a 3 hit shutout against Clemson at Omaha and Daniel Bard who was the 28th overall pick in the amateur draft. Oh yea, and he was throwing 97 in the 7th inning yesterday. For a best of three format, I'm not sure they could be situated any better.

::

The genius of Theo Epstein has taken four years, a abrupt resignation, a walk from Fenway to his car in a gorilla costume, a time of soul searching and a reintoduction to the Sox Nation. Through all of this there has never been any hesitation on the part of Epstein to call the shots. He's a confident young manager who has an uncanny ability to weigh the future ramifications of present moves. This has allowed him to trade away some crops down on the farm and put together a championship caliber ball club, while not selling the farm and having nothing left in the tank for the next couple years. This is the first year, that the farm system is really bringing life to the Boston Red Sox, and therefore is the first year that the fullness of Epstein's genius is obvious.

The "youth movement" is underway in baseball. Stars such as Jose Reyes and David Wright anchor the Mets, then there are the young pitchers in Verlander and Liriano. The most obvious case of this youth is in Florida. The Marlins and Rays are both incredibly youthful teams who have a huge ceiling. The Red Sox are a club that is in the race year in and year out and therefore cannot invest too much in youth, however this makes the development in the minors of utmost importance.

One of Theo Epstein's main goals upon taking the GM job of the Sox was to strengthen the farm system. However, in doing so he has never lost sight of the present and given up on a season. With this combination of short and long term vision Epstein was able to lead the Sox to a world championship in 2004. However, the teams that Epstein continues to put together are getting progressively better. Yes, the 2006 Red Sox are better than the 2004 Red Sox. The first place to look is at first base.

Kevin Youkilis has been the sparkplug for the offense. Kevin Millar was a great clubhouse presence, but his presence on the field is not nearly what Youk has provided this season. He boasts a .319 batting average and a .433 on base percentage to go along with 9 home runs. Perhaps the most telling snippit about Youkilis so far is that he has a Web Gem at three different positions. His play at first base as anchored an offense that lost its leadoff man for a majority of the season thus far. Many fans were calling for Youkilis last year, but with nowhere to play him on an every day basis Theo kept him down at Pawtucket allowing him to get playing time every day. That playing time and experience coupled with an opportunity to make a splash on the major league level has manifested itself in a way that the management could have only dreamed about.

Two acquisitions that flew under the radar this offseason was that of Mike Lowell and Mark Loretta. Loretta was acquired from the Padres for Doug Mirabelli because Loretta was coming off a thumb injury. After a slow start he is picking up his offensive numbers and although he'll never regain his 2003 All Star form he is most definitely an upgrade over the Todd Walker/Mark Bellhorn combo that patrolled the post for the past few years. The Lowell trade is a little different as the aging All Star was a throw in with Josh Beckett from the Marlins. Who knows whether Theo saw that Lowell would have a resurgence or whether Beckett was alluring enough to make Epstein shoulder Lowell's contract. Either way, with Lowell reverting back to the offfensive form that he exhibited in an outstanding 2004 campaign and with year-in-year-out gold glove defense Lowell is making Epstein look brilliant.

Alex Gonzalez plays short and there is nothing really to say about him other than that he is the best defensive shortstop in baseball. That is without reservation. He is abysmal offensively and draws the ire from fans at times, but he has sured up a team defense that was near the bottom in fielding percentage last year and they are now leading the majors in fewest errors. His defense is a considerable upgrade over the disastrous year Renteria had last season.

The outfield is pretty stable with Nixon and ManRam patrolling Peske's Pole and the Green Monster respectively. The new face is Coco Crisp. He was a budding star in Cleveland and yet the route to acquiring him was basically through the losing of Edgar Renteria. Renteria is a tough player to trade based on last year, and therefore Crisp is in a bit of a tough situation. He has to live up to the trade and his predecessor, cult hero Johnny Damon. As of yet, he hasn't lived up to his billing, but that is in large part because of injuries. When Crisp starts swinging again, it will be interesting to see the boost the Sox take from his speed.

(The moves of the offseason:
  • The Sox traded (SP) Anibal Sanchez, (SS) Hanley Ramirez, (SP) Harvey Garcia and (SP) Jesus Delgado to the Marlins for (3B) Mike Lowell, (SP) Josh Beckett and (RP) Guillermo Mota.
  • (SS) Renteria and cash considerations to Atlanta for (3B) Andy Marte.
  • (C) Doug Mirabelli to San Diego for (2B) Mark Loretta.
  • Guillermo Mota, Andy Marte, (C) Kelly Shoppach to Cleveland for (RP) David Riske, (C) Josh Bard, and (CF) Coco Crisp.
  • Josh Bard to San Diego for Doug Mirabelli
The Cleveland/Sox trade came down to swapping relief pitchers and catchers; Mota for Riske, Shoppach for Bard, and then Marte for Coco. Marte was acquired from the Braves for Renteria. Therefore the dispensing of Renteria effectively brought the centerpiece (Marte) for the trade that landed Coco.)


All of these positional moves have been outstanding. Damon is probably better than Crisp, but Crisp has more good years left. Other than that every other position is the same or an upgrade over the previous years. However, none of this can compare to the development job and juggling of the pitching staff that Sox management has done this year.

Schilling, Beckett, and Wakefield are a lethal 1-2-3 punch, but in baseball a fourth and sometimes fifth starter are needed. The Sox had this in David Wells and Matt Clement. Unfortunately Wells has been out with bad knees all year and Clement has struggled mightily all year. This has left two rotation spots open and what could have been disastrous turned into a brilliant display of managerial prowess.

Everyone in Red Sox nation was calling for the arrival of Jon Lester when Wells went down, however Epstein called up a little known AA pitcher, David Pauley to make a few starts. Pauley fared decently, and in the biggest start of his life he controlled the Yankees in New York for two ER over seven innings. There was a stretch when there was no fifth starter needed, and this made Pauley expendable. He is still on the roster but has been moved to the 'pen. In the next start when the Sox needed a fifth up came phenom Jon Lester. Although conditions were not enviable (start of game delayed four hours) he fared decently in earning a no decision in Arlington. Then Clement went down and Lester was inserted to the four hole. He pitched a gem at Atlanta holding the Braves to one run over five innings.

Then the real juggling act was put on display. A day before they needed a fifth starter the Sox picked up Kyle Snyder off waivers from the Royals. He has a hideous track record and hadn't won since 2003, but pitched a whale of a game and the Sox ended up getting the win. Following Snyder's start came Lester's next turn and it was his home debut. He decided to warm the Fenway faithful to him by pitching a one run, three hit, ten strikeout game over the Nationals. Then a day after that, Epstein picked up Jason Johnson from the Indians. Johnson, a veteran, with another ugly track record is a player that can fill the void left by the two pitchers on the DL. This allows Kyle Snyder and David Pauley to move back down and get some quality developmental starts at AAA.

The juggling act of picking the pitcher who will keep the Sox in the game and always knowing when to use whom has been a thing of pure genius. I have no idea how a GM can predict who is ready for a breakout and who isn't but I know I'm glad Theo doesn't have a team in my fantasy league.

the Clint Mathis factor


So today is a new day, and as the adage will tell, the turning of a new leaf. However, it seems that the United States national futball team has decided to stay hidden under its perennial cellar dwelling leaf again this year. The fact that the United States has not gotten serious about soccer til recenty is indesputable. But, the display of this year's team fell way below the precedent set four years ago in the far east.

In three games the U.S. looked like three different teams. The first game against the Czech Republic the U.S. looked like children playing against their fathers. Pavel Nedved led a Czech team that looked more like a pefectly aged wine than a moldy slice of bread. The ineptness of the Americans was exposed in the ninth minute and then again routinely throughout the match. They shaped up against Italy, and should have won. Unfortunately they ended with a tie. However, somehow they came out flat once again against the Black Stars of Ghana. They were outplayed at midfield and except for one or two dazzling chances really mounted no formidable attack.

Now, it must be mentioned that there were a great deal of uncontrollable circumstances that led to the U.S.'s demise. Namely, John O'Brien who is a brilliant midfielder was out for the duration of the WC. Also, the absence of Eddie Pope and Pablo Mastroeni for the Ghana game were huge losses. However, none of these reasons suffice to explain the U.S. difficulties.

Eric Wynalda, an ESPN anchor made the acute observation that Bruce Arena's 4-5-1 deserves a great deal of blame for the anemic offense that the U.S. displayed. Now, there are all sorts of questions surrounding Arena's juggling of his lineup: perhaps, Eddie Johnson should have been in more, perhaps he should have changed up the formation to put more forwards up. All of these what if's surround the team and their disappointing meltdown in Germany.

No matter what the questions are; there are a few observations that are undeniable. In 2002, when the U.S. made their great run Landon Donovan was explosive. He had room to make runs and get in behind the defense. The reason he was able to do so was because of the Clint Mathis factor. Mathis was an instrumental player for the '02 Cup run as he was the leg. He had the cannon that kept defenses honest. Opposing defenses simply could not jam in the 18, because Clint could bury the hatchet from well beyond the goal box. This year's team had no "strikers." Our only forward was McBride who is a great player, but whose forte happens to be his aerial ability. Every successful team has a player, or players who keep defenses honest by unloading shots from outside. The United States did not have that player and this allowed defenses to scrunch in and jam up running lanes - cutting off Donovan, Convey, Beasley, Dempsey and Lewis from playing the type of games they are accustomed to playing.

This is not a hard concept. It is also not a foreign concept to Americans. Think about the effect of a three point shooter in basketball, a deep threat WR in football. All of these are vital parts to a team so that they can stretch out the defense and create room to make plays. the likelihood of a "deep threat" scoring is rather slim, but they open the field for plays to be made. That is the Clint Mathis effect, and that is one reason the United States struggled so mightily in this World Cup.

Another factor that is a little more difficult to diagnose is the service from the midfield. Many soccer fans hail Claudio Reyna as an American hero, which in many ways, he is. However this world cup, the United States struggled mightily in the midfield. They most definitely held their own against Italy in what was an inspired match. However, it is now obvious that as the midfield goes, so goes the U.S. team. Much like the Clint Mathis factor there is a midfield factor that was absent for this year's national team. Midfield is the most important position on the field because they control the ball for the majority of the game. The midfield is very much the offensive line in football. The team that wins the battle of the trenches (the battle of midfield) usually will win the game. Unfortunately for the U.S. the battle of the trenches includes sending attacking crosses from flanks, making smart challenges, and making crisp passes -- all of which the U.S. was unable to do.

This midfield issue is one that needs to be addressed. However, the players are there. The real issue is the one of who plays up front. Brazil has Kaka, who can shoot from anywhere on the field, England has Beckham. These are the players who open creases for great on-ball, or aerial players. Unfortunately Clint Mathis is gone from the U.S. team and there are no explosive shooters on the roster.

21 June 2006

ads

there aren't many ads that beat the Nike commercial where Tiger Woods juggles the golf ball on the face of his wedge and then out of midair hits a perfect shot. However, Nike has outdone themselves with this.

14 June 2006

WC.


The Croats. (I think Croatians should call themselves Croats).

The Croatian soccer team wears amazing jerseys. Most countries sport traditional solid colors with perhaps a stripe or two. The Croats decided to wear tacky Italian Restaurant tablecloths while competing against the
soccer world powers.

Dado Prso and Darijo Srna are both Croatian soccer players who have un-pronouncable names, it is one of the greatest and funniest feelings in the world to see someone running down the pitch (which in soccer language means field) with
a last name that is absolutely impossible to say.

The last great thing about the Croats is their fans. First they also wear the Italian tablecloths. So when the camera pans over the Croatian fans it looks like God is sitting down for a large Italian feast. However this image is stopped when the fans begin to light bonfires. Yes, in the stadium, in the seats the Croatians light up bonfires to help spur on the team. At one point a commentator said, "this would never happen in America," and he is absolutely right; things like that are illegal here in the states.

The Croatians so far are my favorite thing going on over
in Gelsenkirchen Germany. The main reason is that I've been trying to come up with mascots for all the teams and the Croatians make it very easy ...The Croatian Fightin' Pyromanical Tacky Italian Tablecloths.


thing number two ---

Ronaldinho, sure he might be the best soccer player in the world, but where was he when they were casting
Beetlejuice?

thing number three ---

Mexico's coach Ricardo Lavolpe. Why do I like Lavolpe, well he sits on the bench and chain smokes. Soccer is a sport where a bunch of 160 pound men run for a 90 minutes and those men, well they are coached by a chain smoking, goateed man who looks like a bad guy from a James Bond movie.




(TBC) possibly


11 June 2006

verbage

i have decided, effective this post, that i will henceforth disregard correct capitalization and punctuation...i will also make up words

one only needs look at this world, this world of blogdom to cast a glance into the heart's intrigue in language. the bookstores, the coffeeshops, the authors, the english teachers, the classics. there are very little things that can stand the test of time and literature/language is one of them.

this intrigue in language is greeted rather rudely by a vast expanse of grammapolitics (words and syntax and rules) that stretch from our diminutive understanding and stretch into the dredges of human thought. this breadth and depth is immeasurable as it stretches from what we know physically to what we dream subconsciously. it stretches from what i am thinking and simplifies down into what i say, however language stretches further than our thoughts and statements. however because we are so inequipped lingually we are unaware of this "second leg" of the language's body and therefore many times we are completely and wholly unable to express ourselves.

this lack of understanding is most easily identifiable in our inability to grasp and run with the fullness of a word. the fullness of words is something that we will never fully understand. we will never fully know the meaning of a given word --- say, love.

love is an easy word to point out because it has such an intriguing and convoluted emotionality. this emotionality is interconnected with the four letters which create this very simple word. this word has such a deep and rich emotional quality and yet it abides in such a small and simple word. words with such capacity for emotion would seemingly live inside of words that can match the grandeur...words like onomatopoeia. but it doesn't.

::

there are many quotes by intelligent people that fall along the lines of "what you do is infinitely more important than what you say." why? why is what we say, is of very little importance? it is because even when we say things, we still don't understand. we don't know what those combinations of words might mean. we simply don't know how certain words strike others and never can be fully content with our communication, outside of our physical actions revealing the truth in our words.

so back to the word and world of love. this is a word that is thrown into conversations rather haphazardly. perhaps with a family member the final thing you say could be, "love you bye" really quickly. my guess is that such a phrase explodes out of your mouth like a busta rhymes lyric. this is oxymoronic - this is why there is such disparity between our actions and our words. love cannot rush from the tip of our tongue into the cochlea of our communicatee and evaporate without striking the neural connections of our brain.

love....love has to be a word that drips like a leaky faucet. the emotional context has to build and build and build and then become so heavy that the droplet falls effortlessly to the sink - rippling what once was serene, standing water. love has to be a word that simply drips off the end of our tongue because we simply cannot keep those four letters out of the air. it has to. it simply does.

words are meaningless, if we use them in situations where their true characters are not allowed to shine. "love you bye" busta rhymes style means nothing more than "bye" because the love you is not a genuine drop of language, but a forced correct formulation of letters. i don't want to hear an "i love you" that snaps like a kit kat bar. i want all of my "i love you's" to cluster and drip like molasses, intoxicating the air with the truth: truth of the emotionality behind my language and the the truth that can only come with the correct usage of the word.

08 June 2006

image-jury

sulty air swims through my hair
and the stench of dry tobacco wafts through the rafters
the windows aren't opened but air still seeps through
and washes the clean room with a dusty wind
the wood floors creek and the i beams whimper
we sit together on the weather beaten sofa
and you hold my hand in yours
and a cigarette in your other.
you ash off my finger as you kiss your cigarette
and the swirl of gray smoke swirls out toward the back door
the moment etches itself into my brain
as my aperture finally blinks and
i inhale the warm summer air

memory.

People will always say that life flies by. People in high school bestow wisdom upon their younger siblings of how quickly their childhood will be gone. Similarly as we get to high school we look back on the glimpse of time spent in high school and it all seems like such a blink in time. However, these are the moments that we love, the moments that we are so happy to remember.

Somehow, however, there are moments that seem like they last ages and that they have just now been completed. There are portions of our lives that simply do not fade from memory. These are the things that we would rather not look back on. For some reason, the things we remember most vividly are the things that we would like nothing more than to forget and move on.

Why, is it that we are so quick to move on and barely pay any attention to the passing greatness that we will so soon forget, however when that road is marred with rough spots we can't shake those moments from our mind?

31 May 2006

and so it is.

So they say, "death is the great equalizer." I would submit that death is many things. It is the humiliator, the weapon of choice, and the rattifier.

Death does nothing beyond the obvious of remove a human from an earthly form, however those worlds that we suppress and reject take on lifelike proportions in the wake of a death (pun intended). The worlds of emotions and womanness meet with a confused state of anger at the natural order and we are basically spun, like clay on a spinning wheel, into something far from human - something, even, alien.

When I say this, I am getting at our lack of instinctive behavior, or perhaps our lack of pre-planned behaviors. Either way, we do not have the same tact and sensitivity in normal occurences.

Now, I've mentioned death being the great equalizer, which it is. Once, we all die, there are no A-Rod's, no Osama's; simply put, we are all dead. Once human, no longer - dead folks. There is no social heirarchy or anything of the sort. This is humbling. Now here is where the two worlds, living and the dead, collide.

Just as there is no arrogance in death, similarly there is no arrogance in another's death. At this point, we have come to grips with our own mortality that we are no longer so self serving and others-effacing. Point in case, funeral processions.

The whole reason I wrote this is that I want to demonstrate why it is that I love funeral processions. Funeral processions are a beautiful thing. No, not because it is the orchestration of one human passing through the realm, into an eternal existance. It is because the procession is a demonstration of reverence for others. The people all drive down the road one after the other, and they have flags to denote the "funeral procession" cars. Never once, have I seen a funeral procession car, pass another one. Never once, have I seen a person in a funeral procession upset at their positition in the order of the procession.

Also, all oncoming cars pull over in unison to pay homage to the deceased. They stay stopped until the procession is passed and then continue. It is as though for a split second, everyone in the world put aside their pride, put aside their desire to be honored, put aside their me-first attitude and forgot that they were in a hurry. They simply drove in solitude and virtue to pay their respects to a deceased friend. And in some roundabout way, the simple act of a funeral procession seems to do just that - pay respect to human life.

28 May 2006

bonds

Barry Bonds hit home run number 715 today. He hit it off of Byung Hyung Kim which is extremely fitting, given Kim's history of giving up home runs. However, in lieu of the scandal which is leading every city in America (with the exception of San Francisco) raining loud boo's down on Bond's head, it is important that this be properly understood.

Barry Bond's could have used steroids...I'll submit, he did use steroids. However this has never been proven. This supposed use of steroids however, should not taint his staggering numbers. There are players who have tested positive to steroids, and yet still do not achieve the same success as Bonds. Jason Giambi is a perfect example. In his early career when he played for the Athletics, he was a great hitter. He tested positive for steroids, cried on camera, apologized, came back after a suspension and he is still a great hitter. He is not a better hitter now, then he was then. Assuming that he is off steroids now, there was never any great rise in production. His numbers even dipped during the early Yankee years when he tested positive for steroids. However great a hitter Giambi is, he has never even approached the dominance which Bond's carries.

Another player who tested positive for steroids is Rafael Palmeiro. Evidently, according to long time teammate Will Clark, this use had been going on for years. Palmeiro is a member of the 500 HR club, however he has also played for 19 seasons. In those 19 seasons Palmeiro hit 569 home runs. In those same 19 seasons, Barry Bonds hit 704. Perhaps, steroids had something to do with teh power explosion, however to dismiss a number such as 715 because of steroid allegations is ignorant and a disservice to one of the game's greatest players.

25 May 2006

the breakup..

I, by no means am a relationship expert. No one, in sound mind and body will ever refer to me as Dr. Phil; and similarly I will never write an editorial in the NY Times that runs by the emboldened "Sex and the City." I do not understand relationships (romantic and otherwise) and therefore I could never offer even the greatest relational oaf in the United States any advice. However...

I am beginning to understand the breakup. The breakup is this sort of inevitable pitfall that most relationships fall into. It's almost as if one is frollicking through a field of wildflowers, and then that frollicking becomes a walk, and then a slow walk, and then a limp. Meanwhile, the field of wildflowers becomes a perfectly tendered lawn of grass, and then an overgrown weed-infested expanse of foliage, and then finally barren, cracked desert. So, by the end of this relationship, which started with frollicking in the field of daisies has now become a limp through the cracked and barren desert.

Well there is one important point about breakups that everyone needs to know. It is very hard to break up with someone, however, it is infinitely harder to be broken up with. I've heard the line, "He's not supposed to get sick of me, I'm supposed to get sick of him." It is almost as though a breakup hurts in a more insultful, and self image shattering way, then in the intended remorse for things lost way. Well this creates not only the standard ache for togetherness, but also some prideful, and spiteful anger toward the breakupper, from the breakuppee.

In this modern day and age, with the social pressures and this arrogant attitude about the attainment of a guy/girl rather than the actual substantial relationships. I have seen a few cases where the breakuppee and breakupper agree that the end is near, and the interpersonal friendship relationship is preserved because neither is broken up with and therefore neither has huge pride shattereing anger problems to swallow. However, all too often as relationships grow and time and emotions are invested - things never break cleanly. This uneven break, this splintering of raw emotion and comfort create almost a insincere battleground of pride backlashing against painstaking remorse. The breakupper is, in most cases, sincerely remorseful for the turn of events and can (I would hope) feel empathy for the breakuppee. However the breakuppee, in most cases is sincerely hurt. This hurt does not manifest itself in sincere ways however, and therefore this sort of battle becomes an undermining parasite that causes both people to become less able to deal with the pains of breaking up and less able to honor the other person as a frend.

In lieu of my experiences it has become aware that there are a few key stages that occur. The first post breakup stage would have to be the "try to be friends stage." This can never work as there is no time for the feelings of romantic interest to dissipate in the least. There has to be some significant seperation before mature and rational steps can be taken forward.

The second stage is the "okay I need some space stage." During this time period the breakuppee realizes that there is still a great deal of emotional attachment and comes to the understanding that they must remove themselves from the breakupper. This stage is extremely hard for most breakuppees, because if they have a healthy respect for their ex, then they have a hard time understanding this, and would love nothing more for the two to just be friends. However, this being impossible there is usually a great deal of time here, which distances the two people to a point that is so far removed that recreating a friendship is somewhat impossible because there gets to be this feelings of infamiliarity coupled with a lack of understanding because of a past intimate relationship.

This stage of "reacquaintance" often times is the straw that breaks the camel's back as the two folks have grown individually for so long, that there are simply no bridges left on which to connect. This is a frustrating stage where the two people are emotionally and mature enough to have a friendship, however there are too many burned bridges from the impatience and irreverence of the breakup and following stages.

Sadly, this is, what I know to be the case and it makes sense that we are simply unable to act maturely when our pride has been damaged. We make quick bandages and wall of those parts that hurt, which completely remove ourselves from one another. Then, in an attempt to be civil, there is a forced friendship which carries no substance since there is no intimate interaction. This forced friendship results in a friendship which dissolves into nothing and then leads into years and years and years of nothing and eventually we just fade away, as if neither person ever really existed to the other.

24 May 2006

An American Hero.

Barry Bonds? What, you thought I was going to talk about Danica Patrick? Sorry.

Barry Bonds is on the cusp and when I say on the cusp I mean: 19 games without a homer and one shy of taking Babe's place for second on the all time HR list. What does this mean? Well, pretty soon, Barry will hit a home run breaking the tie for second and clearly distinguishing himself as the second best home run hitter ever. But, is he?

The only point in conflict is Bonds' supposed use of steroids (or performance enhancing drugs). This is a big deal I suppose, and therefore recently ESPN published a poll on what the sports world thought of Bonds. The poll begged the question what should the ceremony be like when Bonds breaks Hank Aaron's all time HR record be (because everyone knows deep down, he will). The overwhelming majority decided that the befitting celebration would be affix a large cloth soaked in gasoline to Barry's body. The cloth would be lit and used in the ceremonial lighting of the next Olympic Torch. It is quite astonishing how violent a celebration it is, but as we've known for a long time, sports fans are ruthless. Therefore, since we are on the cusp of history and this is a big deal -- I suppose I shall spread some rays of light into the crotchal region of sports known as cheating.

Let it be known, before I take the rear of the Bonds defense that I personally do not like Barry Bonds. I am not so much concerned for Barry's well being, but for the children he has been kidnapping and dragging to every press conference. Somewhere along the way, his agent convinced him that death by ceremonial Olympic Torch lighting is not the way to go, and Barry has begun to try to become a media darling (something like Kenny Rodgers). Therefore he has turned Michael Jackson and is using children's endearing cuteness to try and swindle chronic ESPNews watchers into his corner.

So for the kids...

Well, before I help out the desperate children, if you, personally, are ever working out at BALCO (not to be confused with Bharat Aluminum Company Ltd. which is an Indian company) and a man by the name Victor ever tries to get you to use anything, you ask what it is. Especially if his name is as questionable as Victor Conte, and he hands you something that he simply refers to as, "The Cream." Your best bet, might be to simply ask what "The Cream" is or just refuse based on your skepticism of Victor Conte as a mafia man, and the presumption that "The Cream" is referred to in such vague terms because of some inappropriate attributes. However, Barry, unfortunately wasn't intelligent enough to ask what was in "The Cream," instead he simply assumed it was Flaxseed Oil.

So, back to Barry Bonds' probably acne riddled back...

Did Barry Bonds ever use steroids? The obvious answer is yes. If you are one of the .0004 percent of people who still believe Bonds, look at him here, and then here. Okay case closed. Now, as for his defense.

The first problem is our view of the past. We do not look back with tact, we look back with nostalgia. This nostalgic view of the past is blurrying sports fan's abilities to see the all time greats for what they were. I once saw a list of many biblical figures and their not-so-biblical behavior. This (I suppose) served as a bridging agent between the two realms: ancient and modern. Well, in some cases that needs to be done in the world of sports. These grandfathers of baseball are not, in most cases, model citizens. The most eye popping scenario would have to be the Pete Rose incident and the Shoeless Joe incident - both of which had to do with betting. However, pretty much all of baseball's elder statesmen had their vices. Therefore, their "good guy" image (and pedastal) is incorrect, and therefore an impossible measuring stick for modern players.

The brunt of the issue however (and this is tongue in cheek for those of you who aren't as deft at picking up my sarcasm) is the definition of performance enhancing drugs. Now, obviously this term is applied to steroids. This makes sense because steroids make one stronger, and therefore more able to hit home runs. However, there are many other kind of performance enhancers that have been declared illegal over the years: cork, vaseline, metal bats, rocket boosters, etc. Therefore, if Bonds home run pace and its apparent cause (steroids) should be tossed out to prevent the nostalgic old times from being eclipsed by the "juiced ball era" than perhaps a few other safeguards should be made.

For instance, no one wants to see one of these young guns like Jose Reyes pass Rickey Henderson for all time stolen bases, so lets ban cleats for players who are fast.

Also, players who hit for a good average have to use stickball bats, so that noone ever hits .400 again, and Ted Williams can be the last person ever to reach said milestone. This will also serve as a way to moderate hit streaks. So, lets say Jimmy Rollins, get on, an appropriately named, roll and rattles off another high 30's hit streak, we'll simply give him a little tiny barrelled bat and it will force him to go ohfer on a night and thus the threat of someone breaking DiMaggio's hit streak record will vanish.

Then lastly, noone wants to ever see any strikeout records broken. So, lets give pitchers with electric stuff balls without raised laces. They wouldn't be able to get any spin on the ball and therefore everything they throw will be battered by batters.

This sounds like a really exciting brand of baseball to me. Especially when Selig rules that the pain relieving effects of Tylenol and other meds of the sort enhance performance (which they do) and bans them from all professional athletes. Without this, it will force players who play everday and get hit and bruised by the grueling schedule to miss days. Thus, protecting Cal Ripken Jr.s game's played in a row streak.

Performance enhancement is a sort of enigma that is far too broad to be brought down on one sector of baseball skill. The ability to hit home runs is in large part due to strength and muscle mass, but is also due to good plate discipline, good hand eye coordination, great bat speed, and other intangibles that Bonds does have. Regardless of whether or not Bonds used (note: past tense) steroids, he is going to break the home run record, and he's going to do so without ever failing a drug test. Yes, it is a shame. However, Barry Bonds cant be the poster child for fans simply longing for a time in baseball's past when players played the game right. It is not Barry Bond's fault that these past times are viewed in such a half light of brilliance, it is also not Barry's prerogative to pass tests that were not administered. If baseball had always tested for steroids as rigorously as they do now, then this would have never been an issue. However, they did not, and therefore nothing he did in the past can be proven with certainty. Baseball players cannot be held to higher standards than anyone else, and we only need look into the world of politics to see how corrupt and self promoting humans are - Barry cannot and should not pay for the sins of humanity just because he is breaking a beloved record.

19 May 2006

Undervalued feelings. pt. 1

We never acknowledge how great it feels to....

...launch a waterballoon and have it make solid contact with our target.

...wake up way too early, and get a whole lot of crap done before everyone wakes up.

to be continued...

Top 5

Top five (okay eight) places I'd like to go right now (some are speculative (of course) because for instance, a few would be tres appropriate with a little misses).

Eight. Tour of the S. Pacific
A J.Hassell original - Vietnam, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand then maybe back to Hawaii.
Seven. South America
The rainforest/Amazonia - crazy unadulterated rainforest. i.e. this
Six. Martha's Vineyard
Fried clams on a summer night.
Five. Fenway Park (Boston, Mass.)
Obviously.
Four. Spring House Hotel (Block Island, Rhode Island)
"It is considered one of Block Island's most elegant historic landmarks. The Spring House, with its wraparound veranda, mansard roof and distinctive cupola, rises from a 15 acre promontory overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and the Block Island's foothills. For these and many other reasons, it is counted among New England's most desirable destinations. Throughout its colorful 150 year history, the island's oldest hotel has hosted notables ranging from Ulysses S. Grant and Mark Twain to singer Billy Joel. The Spring House has even provided the formal setting for Kennedy wedding in its recent past."
Three. Crater Lodge (Ngorongoro, Tanzania)
Catch a few game drives, a few nights on the veranda and then a trip south to Hermans, SA to visit the Johnsons - not bad.
Two. Madrid
Beautiful city, beautiful people.
One. Capri (Italy)
Just look, it's self explanatory.

and of course even more alluring than any of these is playing croquet on the Memfrica croquet courts with Nicholas August (Cubs fan) VanDerVoort.

P.S. -- I'll admit when doing this I stumbled across a GQ article (I know - GQ = eww.) that had a top "27 places to take her" and a few of their places were quite intriguing. Intriguing enough to merit top eight consideration.

I'm not this well traveled, I had some help.

16 May 2006

the bad news cubs?

It is official - as much as I hate to say it - the Chicago Cubs are horrible. Chicago is one helluva city. They've got Millenium park and a bunch of dopes who just talk in annoying midwestern accents. They've got the train system and a fun downtown. Basically it is everything you'd ever want in a city, except for one thing. They absolutely suck at sports. The Cubs are the latest example. One might argue that the White Sox won the world series last year - which is true, but noone in Chicago actually claims the White Sox. The White Sox are like the wannabe Chicagoan's team. They play second fiddle to the ever-cellar dwelling Cubs in the Windy City. (Plus what kind of team can try to gain notoriety while playing with a name that is obviously a rip-off of the Red Sox). Here are a few notes about Chicago's miserable sports history.

Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player to have ever lived, sorry Bron-Bron. Teachers have taught me all growing up, that there is an exception to every rule. i.e. "i before e, except after c" --- neice. Anyway, MJ was the exception to the Chicago suckathon in sports.

The Bulls played decent ball this year, they made it to the play offs. So what. The Bears are the same way.

The Blackhawks -- who cares.

The Cubs. The Cubs are a team that I love dearly. Why? Because I love the tradition of baseball. I love the Red Sox, I hate the Yankees - I cried when Harry Caray fell down the dugout steps. I love the Cubs tradition. However, even with players like Greg Maddux (era 1 and 2), Ryne Sandberg, Derek Lee, Sammy Sosa (in his prime), Prior/Wood, Ernie Banks, Mark Grace, Andre Dawson and Glenallen Hill; the Cubs never manage to meet expectations.

This year is even more atrocious. Over the past two weeks, the Cubs have won a total of two games. That brings that two week record to 2-13. During that time they were shutout by a complete game performance four times - each time by a pitcher who had never before had a comparable performance. The Cubs, right now, are the whipping post of the National League Central. I don't care how far out they are at this point or how many injuries they have had. They simply make opposing teams, and pitchers look good. The Cubs pitchers walk a ton of people (see Brian Giles' 5 walks in sunday's game) and the Cubs offense just can't get it going (see Clay Hensley's 2 hit shutout in the same game) these two things combined equals a team that just sucks (see the Padres' sweep of the season series - the first time thats happened since dinosaurs roamed the earth).