sports fights.

Fighting in sports is one thing that I am for. Now, I did not say that I mean fighting like they do in hockey or boxing -- where the point of the sport is to fight -- I mean the spontaneous mound charging, shove in pit row or even better fan vs. NBA superstar fight. However classless and degrading for the certain player they definitely spice up a sporting event.

Now the addendum about boxing and hockey: both are fine, but the fight I'm talking about is the one that is completely unexpected. Fighting in a boxing match is not all together unexpected and fighting is hockey players second favorite things to do behind hooking up with Russian supermodels.

In lieu of Zizou's recent actions I have composed a top five sports fights list.

1. Obviously Zidane's headbutt is on here. Here is one question, if you could bury your dome in some dude's chest and send him crumpling to the ground like a rag doll wouldn't you? If you answered no, then either you are female or have no competitive bone in your body. Also, I would propose a new idea that soccer could adopt - instant replay. No, this would not serve to detect goals or offsides or any other rubbish. IR would be to determine if a player took a dive. If so, then out comes Zidane, in true Terry Tate Offensive Linebacker Style, and plants a vicous headbutt in the offender's chest. I'll guarantee flops are completely gone after one perpetrator ends up with two collapsed lungs.

Sure Zidane ended on a sour note to most folks -- but he did the best thing he could have ever done for his career. Now he goes on to be the star of a hit action TV show, a la Chuck Norris.

2. The Classic. A sprightly Robin Ventura gets beaned by the big Texan - Nolan Ryan. Note number one to Ventura: you don't get in a fight with an ole boy from Texas. Note number two: even if you win, the league hates you. Ventrua heeded neither notes and charged Ryan with a full head of steam. At this point, whenever you see flashbacks it pans over to Nolan and you can see him thinking:

N.R.: haha, oh this kids in for it
conscience: he's a youngster just protect yourself but don't embarass him.
N.R.: are you kidding, look at this little shit
conscience: well....you're right, he plays for the White Sox, beat the crap out of him.

At that point Ventura gets to the mound, Ryan proceeds to grab Ventura's head and tucks it under one arm and throw his 43 year old fist in Ventura's head numerous times. Oh, and the best part is that Ventura got suspended and Ryan did not.

3. This has to go to the Pistons-Pacers melee. No, not because Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson went into the stands. Not because there was a year suspension for Artest. Simply for the full on sprint into a slide and punch that Jermaine O'Neal threw at that fat guy from The Mighty Ducks. If you don't know what I'm talking about click here.

4. Sox-Yanks. Has there been another rivalry that spawned more hilarous fights. First, there is Pedro rolling Don Zimmer like a bowling ball. Then there is Jason Varitek clocking A-Rod and then that stupid Yankee pitcher (who doesn't even have a name) going into the Boston stands to fight a guy and getting absolutely demolished by like 20 Sox fans.

5. Delmon Young's bat tossing. There has never been a more unexpected of funny video than that of Delmon Young striking out, getting tossed for lingering in the box too long, calmly walking away and then from out of the picture his bat comes flying back into the picture and clocks the umpire in the shoulder - priceless.

There are obviously more fights. Kyle Farnsworth Troy Polamalu-ing some batter that tried to charge him, Michael Barrett-A.J. Pierzynski, etc. Those five are the real deal, and the great thing about a sports fight is the amount of publicity the event gets. Zidane's headbutt has to go number one, because that move overshadowed Italy winning the biggest sporting event in the World. Not many people can claim that. Not many actions could have caused that much talk - but a vicous headbutt to the chest was just what the doctor ordered.