PEOPLE

PEOPLE magazine always does the 50 most ...... people issues. Well thats dandy.

I will do a list of my favorite celebrities....and it won't be 50 people long. And it won't be in any order.

Mitch Hedberg -- he's dead its true, but who else could make a living off of wearing rose colored glasses, drinking on stage, talking about doing drugs, and cracking jokes like, "I have not slept for 10 days, because that would be too long." -- give it a second....okay.

Shigetashimayhomi Yomiuri -- I'm not sure if this is actually the dude's name, but he's known to the world as "that little Oriental Hot Dog eater" Why do i like him so much...well because he has a dance move patented after him. it's called the Shigetashimayhomi shimmy and it is performed in two venues. First, when a man is with friends and there is a contest for who can eat the most hot wings, and second, when coupled with the sprinkler and the macarena in what we casually refer to as "white style" dance.

William "the fridge" Perry -- He is an NFL superstar who is now resigned to challenging said "little Oriental Hot Dog eater" in eating competitions.

Tom Cruise -- Scientology! are you serious, Tom Cruise actually believes this stuff? No offense if there are any scientologists out there. (and by out there i mean out in the ocean -- see my first ever post) I have a problem with expressing myself too obtrusively in times like this, so I apologize to you scientologists, but you are idiots.

Katie Holmes -- Tom Cruise?!

Ricky Williams -- Okay so let me get this straight. You left the NFL (where you were an all star) and lived in self exile for a year so that you could get away with smoking all the pot you wanted. But you realized, you needed money so you came back and played football. You did okay, even though you look like black Abe Lincoln with the beard, but just recently you tested positive for a drug test for the third time. Oh wait, but then your mom was quoted as saying something along the lines of, "I really don't think he's smoking weed, he's so in touch with his body these days with his yoga and all....la de da." What? Your so in touch with your body with yoga and stuff...if your mom is going to lie for you, tell her to be somewhat believable. Oh and by the way, get a masking agent.

and my last one of the night goes to

Every old Road Rules/Real World Cast Member -- these people are token celebrities who have no talent...well except for Alton. They all however, decide to live out their 15 minutes of fame by prolonging their careers by returning to the gauntlet year after year. Its only a matter of time before we experience our first Gauntlet heart attack, because after 45 years of insane challenges followed by binge drinking followed by insane challenges followed by binge drinking followed by eating bugs followed by binge drinking Mike is going to die.